OLD ***Submit Fleet Applications Here!*** THREAD

Niiiiice

Good night, I am out. Should be on Sat/Sun.

best thing to be sir is to order and dont ask vardus any questions, as a commander i think he has plenty of credits,

booo jar, lol anyways did you all see the new excaliber class starship on sto online

night all im off too past my bedtime

Truth! I'll be sure to make a good entrance so that he thinks that he is in trouble, then sit down on the couch and say... Toss me a beer!




OOC: I'm going to have to hit the hay as well. See you all tomorrow...well later today... well... you get the idea

Name: Zapp Brannigan
Ship Name & Class: USS Nimbus NCC-1729, Nebula class
Ship role in fleet: Scientific Research and Support
Skills you bring to fleet: Piloting, Engineering, Tactical, Fleet Combat Support, Search and Rescue and the Seduction of Sensual Alien Women.
Position you might like to fill: Starfleet Corps of Engineers

Good day to you, I am Captain Zapp Brannigan (the "Zapper" or "Big Z", if you will) of the USS Nimbus, formally requesting to join the Firefly Fleet and serve aboard Serenity Station.

My ship is a Nimbus class with full science and research facilities. She is always in a constant state of refit to make her the finest workhorse she can be. While maintaining the highest level of mobile lab and equipment space, the Nimbus also makes generous use of tactical capabilities as well.

I have scads of experience in piloting and crafting from my days with the Galactic Empire in SWG and look forward to all of the really nifty "toys" that will come with STO..

There is nothing more fun to me than to RP good characters and make the gaming experience a fun and amusing one for my guildmates.

I would like to fulfill the role of a Chief Engineer on my toon as Kif, and piloting / tactical as Zapp (I intend to run two accounts so as to have multi-function capabilities ... that and have Kif constantly berate Zapp and sigh heavily)

Other Gaming Exp: Star Wars Galaxies, World of Warcraft, Pirates of the Caribbean Online, City of Heroes/Villans, Command & Conquer, Starcraft. The list continues back to the old days of 80's arcade games and the Atari 2600 ... yes I am old!

**Accessing Service Record**

**Access Granted**

-------Service Record: Zapp Brannigan----------

General Biography:

Brannigan is a member of the United Federation of Planets; he has been referred to as arrogant, incompetent, chauvinistic, cocky, vain, and painfully stupid. Kif Kroker is Brannigan's beleaguered lieutenant and personal assistant, as well as his scapegoat when things go wrong.

Brannigan envisions himself a "ladies' man", but is clueless in matters of romance. He remains convinced that all women lust after him and will eventually respond to his incredibly obvious advances, despite their (often literally) violent opposition to the idea. His overconfidence in this is such that he does not hesitate to hit on all women. He is also frequently seen with female companions who are obviously prostitutes, or even men in drag. Brannigan has expressed on several occasions his fondness for being choked and spanked by strong women, though during an encounter with the warrior-women of the planet Amazonia, his personal limits were rapidly met and exceeded. After escaping and despite his pelvic injuries, he looked back on the experience fondly, sighing happily, "I had snu-snu". He takes any opportunity to brag about his perceived sexual conquests; after having sex with Terunga Leela, he says to Kif, "I have mated with a woman! Inform the men!"

Brannigan's pretensions of being suave are belied by his ignorance of how to properly pronounce words such as champagne (he pronounces the silent g), bravo, encore, and guacamole (he treats the e as if it were silent and pronounces the first "a" as the "a" in cat). He also claims to have a "very sexy" learning disability, "sexlexia". He prizes his singing (calling himself "the Velour Fog", a parody of "The Velvet Fog"), doing a William Shatner-like version of Lola (he replaces the name Lola with Leela) to win back Leela's attention on Open-Mike Karaoke Night at an orbital restaurant. However, as with most of his self appraisals, his belief in his singing voice is ill-founded: his rendition of the song is sufficiently awful as to cause all the restaurant patrons to exit the establishment in escape pods.

Brannigan's battle tactics are impulsive, generally stupid, and almost always unnecessary. Describing his battle strategy, he says, "In the game of chess, you can never let your opponent see your pieces." He takes delight in sending his men to their deaths in pointless battles, viewing this as proof of their loyalty. Notable examples include a battle with "killbots", a battle which Brannigan won by sending wave after wave of his own men at the killbots until they reached their pre-programmed kill limit and shut down. He employed similar tactics in defending Earth during the first invasion of the aliens of Omicron Persei 8, ordering all the ships under his command to "line up and fly directly at the enemy death cannons, clogging them with wreckage!"

Brannigan's speech is laden with malapropisms and mixed metaphors. For example, when describing the strategy, he also says "If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." His fleet managed to destroy the Hubble Space Telescope amid heavy losses, but was powerless against the actual alien mothership (when his fleet was being wiped out by the mothership, his response was to yell "Stop exploding, you cowards!"). He has written at least one book about military tactics, titled Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of War, based loosely on Sun Tzu's The Art of War, which looks like a Dr. Seuss book with his face on it.

Zapp once led an attack to capture the planet Spheron I. He failed to realize how pointless the attack was, despite his speech that, "It is a barren wasteland with no natural resources or any strategic value." He even reveals that no one knew anything of the planet's culture, and didn't know what the inhabitants looked like, but merely stated that "We can only assume this: they stand for everything we don't stand for. Also, they told me you guys look like dorks!". When one soldier asked why they were expected to fight and die to conquer the planet, Brannigan replied "Don't ask me: you're the one who's going to be dying!" It was later revealed that the planet they were attacking was actually the inhabitants' home planet, and the humans were in fact the "evil" invaders.

He once provoked an invasion of Earth after leading a military force to storm the embassy of Doctor Zoidberg's home planet, Decapod 10. Later, he was duped by the Decapodians into handing the codes for the Global Defence Network to one of their agents, poorly disguised as "Hugh Man". This led to their easy conquest of Earth, for which Zapp then blamed Kif.

Brannigan briefly served as captain of the luxury space cruise ship Titanic, which ended up destroyed after he altered the direct, safe flight plan for an indirect, more challenging one, believing that in doing so "we might just get some kind of gravity boost, or something". He was indifferent to the danger posed by comets ("the icebergs of the sky") and black holes ("that blackish holish thing") — at least, until they actually become dangerous to him. This episode also shows Zapp transferring the blame for the incident to Kif (again), giving him the Captain's badge, and disappearing in a small escape pod. The incident serves to illustrate the apparent cowardice of the monumental space "hero". Brannigan, thanks to his exaggerated or ill-won conquests, is considered a hero by the general populace and government, frequently praised, but anyone who is around Brannigan too long begins to see him for who he really is and rapidly develops an extreme dislike for him.

Brannigan is extremely sexist, and believes that women are weak and inferior fighters. When Leela tried to sign up for the army at the start of the war to protect Fry and Bender, he prohibited it, claiming that having women on the battlefield would cause his soldiers to be distracted and blunder in battle (based apparently on the fact that he gets distracted and blunders in battle when they are present). Once, he walked in on Kif, and learned that he was crying "like a woman." On another occasion, when talking about his conquest of the Spider planet, he claimed that the enemy was "weak and woman-like on the battlefield."

Brannigan's Law states that one cannot interfere with an undeveloped planet, an obvious rip-off of the Prime Directive which he also claims to have invented dispite it's being written many decades prior to his actual birth. Brannigan himself does not pretend to understand it, he merely enforces it, and even fails to uphold it on at least one occasion. According to Brannigan, "Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love: hard and fast".

The Nimbus: NCC-1729 is his personal flagship under Brannigan's command. The Nimbus is an extremely large Nebula class vessel, capable of a variety of research and support functions making it vastly more valuable to the Federation than her Captain is. Brannigan's quarters aboard the Nimbus (which he refers to as his "lovenasium") are garishly decorated in velour and contain a hovering heart-shaped bed, hanging over which is a portrait of him in a pose mocking Aaron Shikler's posthumous portrait of John F. Kennedy.

The design of the Nimbus is a heavily modified Nebula class vessel

Brannigan is widely revered in military circles for his numerous defeats of 'hostile' alien species. However, almost all of these victories tend to come from using excessive force to subdue lesser opponents, such as when he "defeated" the Kill bots by "Exceeding their kill limit by sending wave after wave of men to be killed by them"

After having served in the military in the 31st Century, Brannigan and Kroker were transporting Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth and Doctor John Zoidberg to a "Scientific Convention" on Risa when one of Zapp's "shortcuts" brought the Nimbus too close to a temporal anomoly in close proximity of a radioactive gas giant hurtling the ship and its passengers back in time to 2401.

This temporal transfer caused almost complete devestion of the Nimbus and they would all have surely perished if they had not been rescued by a Federation survey vessel. Once returned to Earth, they all quickly found themselves finding roles within Starfleet. Over the next five years, the Nimus was rebuilt and commissioned with Brannigan remaining it's commanding officer. With no record of his "past dealings" in the future, and his (albeit garishly biased on Zapp's behalf) experience as a starship captain, Starfleet unwittingly unleashed the self-proclaimed "Man of the Future" upon the galaxy where he continues his misadventures with earnest vigor.

End Biography Section-----------

Dispite his shortcomings, Brannigan is an energetic and loyal member of Starfleet believing himself to be a poster boy for everything a captain should represent. Most of his accomplishments can be attributed to the fact that Kif Kroker has remained at his side to keep his commanding officer from causing irreperable damage to the timeline.

End Service Entry......

**End Message**

Welcome aboard!! Hahaha, I love Futurama. I also love how you have gone "Starfleet" with the character

i sense big catastrophic failuer when his ego meets kirks ego...

hahahhahaha BOOOM!

My god the smug storm from those two egos will decimate the galaxy.

An absolutely erotic perfect storm!

god no! I forsee you spending alot of time in med bay.

As long as med bay has the ointment I need ... uh ... for a friend! Yeah, that's it!

More like broken bones.

Broken bones? Man! You Serenity types really know how to party!

Welcome to the Starfighters Zapp!

Hot rods and phaser canons! This is gonna be one fun, sexy, wild ride!

*Attention* USS Nimbus is beeing recalled for emergency refit*

So coocoo clock, swap phasers with catapults, and remove all beverages from replicator pattern banks....Uplo\ding list to engeneering personel...

Hmm! For Brannigan; I forsee.......... Pain! Lots and lots of pain! Broken bones, concussions galore, scrapes, cuts, bruises and a myriad of other medical calamaties. hehe

Wheee! Good times!

Reanna Aloi wrote:Hmm! For Brannigan; I forsee.......... Pain! Lots and lots of pain! Broken bones, concussions galore, scrapes, cuts, bruises and a myriad of other medical calamaties. hehe

And snu snu! Don't forget lots and lots of snu snu!

We likey the snu-snu

lol... what? Is he going to be sleeping with a Klingon woman or something?

dear god is he going have PAIN LOTS AND LOTS OF PAIN!