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    Universal Laws



    Fleet Rank : Lt. Commander
    Security/Marine Rank : FMC Sergeant
    Number of posts : 72
    Location : Waco, TX
    Ship Name : USS Spirit of Fire
    Ship Registry Number : NCC 92683 A
    Ship Class : Cerberus
    Fleet Division : Marines/Security

    Main RP Character Profile

    Universal Laws

    Post by DukeNukemTX on Tue Nov 10, 2009 2:08 am

    1. Law of Mechanical Repair- After your hands have become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

    2. Law of Gravity- Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    3. Law of Probability- the probability of being watched is directly proportional the the stupidity of your act.

    4. Law of Random Numbers- if you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone will always answer.

    5. Law of the Alibi- If you tell the boss you were late for work because of a flat tire, the very next morning you will have one.

    6. Variation Law- If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster then the one you are in now.

    7. Law of the Bath- When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    8. Law of Close Encounters- The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you dont want to be seen with.

    9. Law of the Result- When you try to prove to someone that a machine wont work, it will.

    10. Law of Biomechanics- The Severity of the itch is inversly proportional the the reach.

    11. Law of the Theatre and Hockey Arena- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arive last and they are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the preformance or the game is over while those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and who stay to the bitter end and beyond. The aisle people are very surly folk.

    12. The Starbucks Law- As soon as you sit down to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    13. Murphy's Law of Lockers- If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    14. Law of Physical Surfaces- The chances of an open jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

    15. Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possibleif you dont know what you are talking about.

    16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance- If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

    17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy- As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making it.

    19. Doctor's Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

    Object in Space

    Fleet Rank : Lieutenant
    Number of posts : 167
    Location : Chicago
    Ship Name : venom
    Ship Class : Unkn
    Fleet Division : Command

    Re: Universal Laws

    Post by segreto on Wed Nov 11, 2009 11:23 pm

    There has to be one about having to pee when you're in your car and in a traffic jam and on your way to work.

    Zapp Brannigan
    So very pretty

    Fleet Rank : Commander
    Serenity Starfighter Corps : FSC Wing Colonel
    Number of posts : 335
    Location : Take me out to the black. Tell them I ain't coming back!
    Ship Name : Nimbus-B
    Ship Class : Modified Vesper Class
    Fleet Division : Starfighter Corps (The Fireflys)

    Re: Universal Laws

    Post by Zapp Brannigan on Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:26 am

    I had an ex-girlfriend that anytime we'd start to get "intimate" my mom would call on the phone.

    Object in Space

    Fleet Rank : Commander
    Security/Marine Rank : FMC Captain
    Number of posts : 118
    Location : alpha quadrent
    Ship Name : U.S.S. Solaron
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77324
    Ship Class : soveriegn class
    Fleet Division : Marines/Security

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    Name: X

    Re: Universal Laws

    Post by X on Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:43 am

    Variation Law is so true it happens to me every morning when im rushing to work



    Fleet Rank : Lt. Commander
    Security/Marine Rank : FMC Sergeant
    Number of posts : 72
    Location : Waco, TX
    Ship Name : USS Spirit of Fire
    Ship Registry Number : NCC 92683 A
    Ship Class : Cerberus
    Fleet Division : Marines/Security

    Main RP Character Profile

    Re: Universal Laws

    Post by DukeNukemTX on Fri Nov 13, 2009 2:40 pm

    There also should be one about people driving as slow as the rest of the traffic in the fast lane.

    So very pretty

    Fleet Rank : Lt. Commander
    Engineering Dept. Rank : SED Lt. Commander
    Number of posts : 461
    Location : Lost in my own mind. which is wandering. inside your face.
    Ship Name : USS Albatross
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-83117
    Ship Class : Steamrunner
    Fleet Division : Engineering/Ops

    Re: Universal Laws

    Post by Fr3nchy117 on Fri Nov 13, 2009 9:16 pm

    read a book that actually talks about this, called "being happy"...

    you know, the kind of thing where worrying about things actually puts events into line to make that happen. "Oh, gee, it's 4:30 pm, i should be getting my migrane right about now..."

    or the guy that was always late to tennis practice... that his subconscious mind was used to that, and if he almost ended up on time, his mind would say "hey! this doesn't feel right!" and find a reason or excuse to be late, whether it was needing to fill up on gas, or the cat had diarrhea, etc... and if he WAS on the road on the way to the tennis court on time, he might actually hit a tree.

    Wow how did I end up on the internet when I told myself i'd go do other stuff?


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    Re: Universal Laws

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