Firefly Fleet Announcements:
 
Welcome to Serenity Station!!
 
We now have a Tier three Starbase!!

Welcome to the Firefly Fleet!   Fleet and web updates will be found here!

 

Be sure to drop by our Allied forums and say hi!  Very Happy

Congratulations to new promotees!

Navigation

Index
Index
Calender
Photo Gallery
FAQ
Search The Forum
Firefly Fleet Protocols
Fleet Roster
Forum Memberlist
Usergroups
User Control Panel
Private Message Inbox

Team Speak

teamspeak server Hosting by TeamSpeak3.com

Latest topics

» Nibiru
Tue Nov 22, 2016 3:04 pm by HareBrained

» Archon Class Assault Cruiser
Tue Nov 15, 2016 9:35 pm by Pyriel32

» Sphere Builder Lockbox
Mon Oct 24, 2016 8:38 am by Jonjah

» Steamrunner Bundle
Mon Oct 10, 2016 1:08 pm by Pyriel32

» artifacts
Mon Oct 03, 2016 12:21 pm by Pyriel32

» Second Chance Saloon
Mon Oct 03, 2016 11:54 am by Cpt Cannons

» Team Speak 3 The Latest Editon
Mon Oct 03, 2016 4:52 am by Cpt Cannons

» TimeLine
Thu Sep 22, 2016 8:22 am by Lastline

» Fleet Station K-13 Returns!
Thu Sep 22, 2016 7:34 am by Pyriel32


    Joke of the Day

    Share

    Jonjah
    Fleet Mom

    Fleet Rank : Captain
    Medical Division Rank : MD Captain
    Number of posts : 571
    Location : Serenity Station
    Fleet Division : Science/Medical

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Jonjah on Fri Jan 30, 2009 11:34 am

    Airline Announcements?



    United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!


    *************************************



    On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have. '


    *************************************



    'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane'


    *************************************



    An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a 'Thanks for flying our airline.' He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.


    She said, 'Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?'


    'Why, no, Ma'am,' said the pilot. 'What is it?'


    The little old lady said, 'Did we land, or were we shot down?'


    ***************************************



    As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella, WHOA!'


    *******************************************



    After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, 'Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that.'


    *************************************



    Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: 'We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.'


    *************************************



    Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo , Texas on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo . Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!'


    ***********************************



    'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.'


    ***********************************



    'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......except for that gentleman over there.'


    ******************************************



    Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City . The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 'That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.'


    ****************************************



    After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix , the attendant came on with, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.'


    ****************************************



    Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 'We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways.'


    ****************************************



    Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - 'Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em.'


    ****************************************



    A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, 'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles . The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!' Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry i f I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'


    A passenger in Coach yelled, 'That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!'


    __________________________________________________________

    Baumer
    Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Rank : Admiral
    Serenity Diplomatic Corps : Senior Ambassador
    Number of posts : 4834
    Ship Name : USS Combination
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77721
    Ship Class : Prometheus Class
    Fleet Division : Command

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Jeff Baumer

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Baumer on Fri Jan 30, 2009 1:28 pm

    hahaha, I'm with the passenger in coach ahahhahahaa love it!

    Truth Seer
    Big Damn Hero

    Fleet Rank : Captain
    Security/Marine Rank : FMC Colonel
    Number of posts : 281
    Location : Out on the edge.
    Ship Name : USS Truth Seer
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-Can't Think of Anything
    Ship Class : Defiant
    Fleet Division : Marines/Security

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Truth Seer on Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:07 pm

    Haha thats great.

    PS awesome sig.


    __________________________________________________________

    Pyriel32
    Director of Intelligence

    Fleet Rank : Fleet Admiral
    Special Operations Rank : SPO Fleet Admiral
    Intel Department Rank : INT Fleet Admiral
    Number of posts : 4645
    Location : Serenity Station
    Ship Name : U.S.S. ACHERON
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-97397-D
    Ship Class : Eclipse Class Intel Cruiser (Special Operations Refit)
    Fleet Division : Intel/Special Ops

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Pyriel Danto

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Pyriel32 on Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:20 am

    The Polite way to Pee

    During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
    "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?
    " Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
    What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
    Sherman said , "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
    "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
    And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
    "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

    The teacher fainted...

    Jonjah
    Fleet Mom

    Fleet Rank : Captain
    Medical Division Rank : MD Captain
    Number of posts : 571
    Location : Serenity Station
    Fleet Division : Science/Medical

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Jonjah on Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:22 am

    [img][/img]


    __________________________________________________________

    Baumer
    Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Rank : Admiral
    Serenity Diplomatic Corps : Senior Ambassador
    Number of posts : 4834
    Ship Name : USS Combination
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77721
    Ship Class : Prometheus Class
    Fleet Division : Command

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Jeff Baumer

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Baumer on Mon Feb 09, 2009 3:19 am

    LOL! Love it!

    Qugie
    So very pretty

    Fleet Rank : Flag Captain
    Number of posts : 300
    Location : Risa
    Ship Name : USS Lineage II
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-881968
    Ship Class : Runabout
    Fleet Division : Science/Medical

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Qugie on Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:23 am

    Pyriel32 wrote:The Polite way to Pee


    "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

    The teacher fainted...



    LMAO! I must use that one


    __________________________________________________________


    Stronin
    Done the Impossible

    Fleet Rank : Commander
    Engineering Dept. Rank : SED Commander
    Number of posts : 704
    Location : Serenity Station
    Ship Name : USS Mainesburg
    Ship Registry Number : 89557
    Ship Class : Excelsior Redesign
    Fleet Division : Engineering/Ops

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name:

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Stronin on Wed Feb 18, 2009 1:08 pm

    Klingon Necklace

    Deanna Troy, while on Qo'nos, was admiring a Female Klingon's necklace.

    "What is it made of?" she asked.

    "Denebian Slime Devil's teeth," the Klingon replied.

    "I suppose," Deanna said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."

    "Oh, no," The Klingon objected. "Any fool can open an oyster."

    Baumer
    Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Rank : Admiral
    Serenity Diplomatic Corps : Senior Ambassador
    Number of posts : 4834
    Ship Name : USS Combination
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77721
    Ship Class : Prometheus Class
    Fleet Division : Command

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Jeff Baumer

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Baumer on Wed Feb 18, 2009 7:50 pm

    Truth! hahahahaha

    Baumer
    Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Rank : Admiral
    Serenity Diplomatic Corps : Senior Ambassador
    Number of posts : 4834
    Ship Name : USS Combination
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77721
    Ship Class : Prometheus Class
    Fleet Division : Command

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Jeff Baumer

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Baumer on Sun Mar 08, 2009 3:42 am

    A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two


    large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips,


    and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.



    Noticing this a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am,


    there are $20 bills falling out of your bag."


    "Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back,


    and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."



    "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you


    get all that money? "You didn't steal it, did you?"



    "Oh, no", said the little old lady.. "You see, my back


    yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot.


    On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the


    fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence


    with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing


    through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'.



    "Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck!


    Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"



    "Well, you know", the old lady says, "not everybody pays".

    Baumer
    Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Rank : Admiral
    Serenity Diplomatic Corps : Senior Ambassador
    Number of posts : 4834
    Ship Name : USS Combination
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77721
    Ship Class : Prometheus Class
    Fleet Division : Command

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Jeff Baumer

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Baumer on Sun Mar 08, 2009 6:11 pm

    THE SILVER SCREW

    Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In its place Was a silver screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was nothing they could do.

    Like it or not, he was stuck with it . . . He was screwed.

    All the years of growing up were real tough on him, as all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided leaving his house . . . And thus, never made any friends.

    One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a swami in Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next day, he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal .

    After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come. The screwy guy was told to sleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the following day when he awoke, the screw would have been removed. The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep.


    During the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window. In the mist floated a solid silver screwdriver. In just moments, the screwdriver removed the screw and disappeared out the window.

    The next morning when the man awoke, he saw the silver screw laying on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there was no screw There! Jubilant, he leaped out of bed . . . . And his butt fell off.

    The moral to this is:


    'Don't screw around with things you don't understand -- You could lose your ass.'

    Exezer
    Big Damn Hero

    Fleet Rank : Captain
    Science Department Rank : SCI Captain
    Medical Division Rank : MD Captain
    Number of posts : 260
    Location : Abandoned Planet Doing Experiments.....hehe
    Ship Name : USS Shield
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77911
    Ship Class : Ship Class: NX-91001
    Fleet Division : Science/Medical

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Exezer on Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:47 am

    Heh that was pretty funny lol


    __________________________________________________________


    Baumer
    Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Rank : Admiral
    Serenity Diplomatic Corps : Senior Ambassador
    Number of posts : 4834
    Ship Name : USS Combination
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77721
    Ship Class : Prometheus Class
    Fleet Division : Command

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Jeff Baumer

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Baumer on Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:23 pm

    Only in America .........do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    EVER WONDER .....
    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
    Our skin?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

    Jonjah
    Fleet Mom

    Fleet Rank : Captain
    Medical Division Rank : MD Captain
    Number of posts : 571
    Location : Serenity Station
    Fleet Division : Science/Medical

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Jonjah on Mon Apr 06, 2009 10:15 pm

    LOL! Sooo very very true, Baumer. Smile Thanks for the laugh


    __________________________________________________________

    qoona
    Done the Impossible

    Fleet Rank : Captain
    Engineering Dept. Rank : SED Captain
    Number of posts : 705
    Ship Name : USS Nausicaa
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-71830
    Ship Class : Norway Class
    Fleet Division : Engineering/Ops

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Laphiel N`Ruri

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by qoona on Tue Apr 07, 2009 3:23 am

    oh i just made this one:

    Why data is better than average STO fan?
    Becouse he already made it into Beta


    __________________________________________________________
    You cant make fun of others, if you cant make fun of yourself

    I am an actor not a doctor!- Jackson DeForest Kelley

    Baumer
    Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Rank : Admiral
    Serenity Diplomatic Corps : Senior Ambassador
    Number of posts : 4834
    Ship Name : USS Combination
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77721
    Ship Class : Prometheus Class
    Fleet Division : Command

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Jeff Baumer

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Baumer on Tue Apr 07, 2009 11:00 am

    Nice!

    Pyriel32
    Director of Intelligence

    Fleet Rank : Fleet Admiral
    Special Operations Rank : SPO Fleet Admiral
    Intel Department Rank : INT Fleet Admiral
    Number of posts : 4645
    Location : Serenity Station
    Ship Name : U.S.S. ACHERON
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-97397-D
    Ship Class : Eclipse Class Intel Cruiser (Special Operations Refit)
    Fleet Division : Intel/Special Ops

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Pyriel Danto

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Pyriel32 on Fri Apr 17, 2009 12:25 am

    A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

    "I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniel's every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."

    "That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

    "Thirty-four," she replied.

    Qugie
    So very pretty

    Fleet Rank : Flag Captain
    Number of posts : 300
    Location : Risa
    Ship Name : USS Lineage II
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-881968
    Ship Class : Runabout
    Fleet Division : Science/Medical

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Qugie on Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:45 am

    Stronin wrote:

    "Oh, no," The Klingon objected. "Any fool can open an oyster."


    LOL That's one Bad A$$ Klingon


    __________________________________________________________


    Truth Seer
    Big Damn Hero

    Fleet Rank : Captain
    Security/Marine Rank : FMC Colonel
    Number of posts : 281
    Location : Out on the edge.
    Ship Name : USS Truth Seer
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-Can't Think of Anything
    Ship Class : Defiant
    Fleet Division : Marines/Security

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Truth Seer on Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:42 am

    Knock, Knock.
    Who's there?
    Doctor.
    Doctor who?
    Exactly.

    Give it a second. Smile


    __________________________________________________________

    Baumer
    Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Rank : Admiral
    Serenity Diplomatic Corps : Senior Ambassador
    Number of posts : 4834
    Ship Name : USS Combination
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77721
    Ship Class : Prometheus Class
    Fleet Division : Command

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Jeff Baumer

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Baumer on Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:26 am

    Scifi channel original?

    qoona
    Done the Impossible

    Fleet Rank : Captain
    Engineering Dept. Rank : SED Captain
    Number of posts : 705
    Ship Name : USS Nausicaa
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-71830
    Ship Class : Norway Class
    Fleet Division : Engineering/Ops

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Laphiel N`Ruri

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by qoona on Fri Apr 17, 2009 1:53 pm

    why Borg crossed the road?
    To assimilate the other side.

    How many klingons are needed to change the lightbulb?
    None, Real warrior is not arffraid of darkness
    What happened to klingon that DID changed the lightbulb?
    He was shoot for cowardice


    __________________________________________________________
    You cant make fun of others, if you cant make fun of yourself

    I am an actor not a doctor!- Jackson DeForest Kelley

    Pyriel32
    Director of Intelligence

    Fleet Rank : Fleet Admiral
    Special Operations Rank : SPO Fleet Admiral
    Intel Department Rank : INT Fleet Admiral
    Number of posts : 4645
    Location : Serenity Station
    Ship Name : U.S.S. ACHERON
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-97397-D
    Ship Class : Eclipse Class Intel Cruiser (Special Operations Refit)
    Fleet Division : Intel/Special Ops

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Pyriel Danto

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Pyriel32 on Sat Apr 18, 2009 12:43 am

    George and Margie get married and they are both virgins.

    On there first night George starts to get undressed by taking off his shoes and socks. His toes are curled under. Margie asked him, " George what happened to your toes"? George said, " when I was a kid I had tolio" Margie says, "you mean polio" and he said "no tolio" Margie said, "I never heard of that"

    He takes of his pants and he has a rash on both knees. Again she asks "what happened to your knees? "When I was a kid I had kneeasles and the rash never left. " You mean measles" No kneeasles.... Never heard of that either.

    As he takes off his shorts Margie said, "don't tell me, you had small cox"

    Baumer
    Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Rank : Admiral
    Serenity Diplomatic Corps : Senior Ambassador
    Number of posts : 4834
    Ship Name : USS Combination
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77721
    Ship Class : Prometheus Class
    Fleet Division : Command

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Jeff Baumer

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Baumer on Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:49 am

    lol ooooh sad....

    qoona
    Done the Impossible

    Fleet Rank : Captain
    Engineering Dept. Rank : SED Captain
    Number of posts : 705
    Ship Name : USS Nausicaa
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-71830
    Ship Class : Norway Class
    Fleet Division : Engineering/Ops

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Laphiel N`Ruri

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by qoona on Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:35 am

    How many movements is required to put a giraffe into a fridge?
    Spoiler:
    3. Open fridge put girafe inside, close fridge

    Than how many movemenst is required to pu an elephant inside?
    Spoiler:
    4. Open fridge, take the girafe out, put elephant in, close fridge

    The king of animals made a conferrence, and all animals come except one. Which one didnt come?
    Spoiler:
    The elephant, becouse he is in the fridge

    Now. There is a river, which you need to cross. YUO now there are crocodilles inside. how do you cross it?

    Spoiler:
    Just swim through, as the crocodilles ar at the animal king's conferrence

    hit spoiler for answers!


    __________________________________________________________
    You cant make fun of others, if you cant make fun of yourself

    I am an actor not a doctor!- Jackson DeForest Kelley

    Baumer
    Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Rank : Admiral
    Serenity Diplomatic Corps : Senior Ambassador
    Number of posts : 4834
    Ship Name : USS Combination
    Ship Registry Number : NCC-77721
    Ship Class : Prometheus Class
    Fleet Division : Command

    Main RP Character Profile
    Name: Jeff Baumer

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Baumer on Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:44 pm

    A Satisfied Taxpayer
    =====================

    Dear Internal Revenue Service:

    On this April 15th tax return due date you will find enclosed my
    2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

    Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper,
    dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department
    of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid
    $600.00 per toilet seat.

    I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and
    six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot,
    bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the
    overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as
    noted on my return.

    You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5 inch
    Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today
    newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5 inch
    Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your
    convenience.

    To recap my enclosures:
    Four toilet seats
    Six hammers
    and
    One screw

    It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look
    forward to paying it again next year.

    Sincerely,
    A Satisfied Taxpayer

    Sponsored content

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Post by Sponsored content Today at 4:48 pm


      Current date/time is Sat Dec 03, 2016 4:48 pm