So I'll go first. This pic is about a year old, but nothing much has changed. My beard had once hit "epic" level, but my wife told me to trim it or she'd stop the sex. So I trimmed it, naturally.
My lovely wife and I on Thanksgiving
There's a picture of me floating around the net somewhere of me next to an Ewok from Star Wars. We have the same expression on our faces and our heads are tilted at the same angle. But I don't respect you enough to show this to you, so if you want to see it you must earn my respect (or ask really nicely, offering bribes).